December 2004
 The
Return Of The Tree
Once again, the green plastic tree with baubles
has appeared in my lounge. In previous years this has been the
sign that us cats will soon enjoy a huge turkey-fest - but with
the staff becoming vegetarian (why?) I don't think that we'll
be celebrating quite so much. Here's a previous year's picture
of the staff with a glass of falling-over water.
Whiskers
Geoff has extended his facial fungus to include
a goatee beard. It looks alright I suppose, but when it comes
to whiskers, I might not have the quantity, but I've sure got
the quality!
Check out both
sets of whiskers here, and tell me who is the more handsome?
Music
What on earth is a Jools Holland Rhythm &
Blues Orchestra? Because Linda and Geoff went with Paula and Ian
to see it. - and they agreed it was jolly good too.
November 2004
More Concerts
The staff have been playing at dirty stopouts
and deserting me - they went out one night to see some noisy people
called Deep Purple and Peter Frampton. When they got in, they
were complaining about their ears buzzing - I think it was just
an excuse for them to ignore my calls for food. The following
night they saw some people called The Beach Boys - which Geoff
said he really enjoyed. When will he stop singing about California
Girls?
 Crash
Bang
Oh dear, - it's firework time again. However
I must admit that there doesn't seem to be so many bangs and flashes
in the run up to The Dreadful Night - for which us animals thank
you. Hopefully Tansy won't start throwing up
again this year, 'cos the poor love does get a bit frightened.
Kitchen
The new kitchen has arrived, - but I wish the
staff would make their minds up where they are going to put our
cat food at mealtimes. They put it over here, then try it over
there, then back here again. Talk about confusing, you wouldn't
catch us cats behaving like that.
October 2004
Biggles
 I've
been watching the behaviour of my mate Biggles
the rabbit lately with some concern, and Geoff tells me that the
poor bugger is going blind with cataracts, and he's only four
years old. Bigs is under treatment having eye drops four times
a day just in case it's a parasite that's causing the problem.
Naturally all of us cats wish him well, and
we're sure he'll look really distinguished with a white cane and
dark glasses - but we draw the line at him having one of those
guide dogs.
Where's my kitchen gone?
Geoff has flipped: he's spent the weekend wrecking
my kitchen. The cupboards have all gone, along with the shelves,
pots and pans, - even the tiles off the wall. He says another
kitchen is coming soon.
Now I must admit to getting a little nervous
- Geoff always said that the kitchen was too small to swing a
cat in - but without the furniture it's a little bigger now. I
hope the new one turns up soon.
Even more seagulls...
 I'm
still confused about this Seagulls thing. [Ed: see May &
July 2004 below.] I was curled up on the sofa half watching
Sky Sports when they mentioned the word 'Seagulls', so I sat up
to take notice. Now, according to the film clip, it seems that
the Seagulls need a new stadium at Falmer to live in.
Does this mean that they won't hang around
my back garden trying to bomb me with bird shit? If thats the
case then it gets my vote. Seagulls for Falmer I say! The film
finished with a shot of my staff both clapping a Seagulls bombing
competition. [Ed: Click to enlarge.]
Concerts
My servants Geoff and Linda seem to be taking
a lot of time off lately. Instead of catering for my every whim,
they've been to concerts by someone called Judie Tzuke, some people
called The Corrs, and some man called Billy Connelly, who Geoff
said was effin hilarious. Whatever that means.
Ghosts and things...
At this time of year we get kids knocking at
the door cadging sweeties by saying 'Trick or Treat', but I think
I'm right in saying that Geoff scares them off by showing them
his ghoulies. Or something like that.
September 2004
Conservathingy
As you can see from my photo, the men building
my conservathingy are making good progress [Ed: click to enlarge].
It's now got walls, windows and a roof - so now I can survey my
estate in the comfort I have come to expect around here.
Now, as you know, I'm not a tomcat who tells
tales, but guess which two girlie cats tried to jump over the
small wall, only to find the builders had just put the windows
in! Hehehe! Boing. Boing! I won't tell you who they were, but
Linda spoilt my fun by showing Katy and Pippa
the hole in the wall where my catflap is going.
Tales of the Catflap
[Ed: Late September] My new cat flap
has just been installed by the builders - it's like the other
one but it's like a long tunnel going through the wall. While
all the work has been going on, Geoff has provided us with a couple
of emergency litter trays, - you know, just in case....
Now Katy told me that she
was a bit concerned, - being the fatty lardarse that she is, she
was worried that she wouldn't fit through the cat flap to get
into the garden, - so instead she decided to go looking for a
litter tray to pee in. She found a box with some nice soft-on-the-bum
blue paper and started to widdle, only to be disturbed by Linda
shouting "Katy, shhhooo, those are Geoff's Prize Draw
tickets !!!" She made herself scarce for the rest of
the day, while Geoff hurriedly dried the cat's pee from his tickets.
Oh dear!
Geoff spent the morning muttering some magic words, which seem
to have done the trick as he says that they are all dry now, -
and he wants to know where the Fabreze is kept.
|
Sorrel
Passed Away