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December 2003 The Green Plastic Tree - again It's turned up again. Every year at this time, a false green tree appears in my lounge, covered in lights and bright dangly things that some of us cats like to play with. When she was a younger kittypuss, our Tansy jumped onto it and brought it crashing to the floor. Har har. It's now wired to the ceiling. I guess it's not long now before we all get turkey leftovers for a few days, and there's lots of torn paper to play with. So, on behalf of the other cats (and rabbits) in my household, may I wish you the compliments of the season! November 2003
What is it with you humans? I can remember every year since I was a kitten, in early November there have always been lots of bangs and booms and whooshes and bright coloured flashes going on outside. All evening long too. Linda and Geoff seem to enjoy it, going Oooh and Aaah all the time. Now I'm not trying to be a miserable old tomcat, but it plays havoc in my household. Tansy and Holly hide behind the sofa, Katie and DD hide under the bed, Pippa keeps jumping on Linda's lap, and Sorrel doesn't know what to do with herself. The rabbits are hiding in the bottom of their hutch, listening to Classic FM on the radio, and I'm trying to look all cool and tough - as befitting any male of my species - but it's difficult. The evening is rounded off with Tansy emerging from behind the sofa, and throwing up on the hall floor. Poor old dear, - she would be upset for a few days, but her memory means she'll have forgotten it all by the morning. Right, any more room under that bed? August 2003
Geoff and Linda mentioned something about having a room put up in the roof - which sounded like somewhere new for us all to sleep, and perhaps watch the birdies even closer. Might even be a nice place to disembowel the odd mouse. But they didn't say anything about all the people and all the noise. There's lots of scaffolders clanking and banging, lots of builders thumping, crashing, whirring and drinking tea - where can a cat sleep with all this noise going on? Even Geoff has taken Linda's laptop down to the gazebo for some peace and quiet. There must be somewhere more peaceful at the bottom of the garden.
July 2003
Isn't this weather wonderful for a tomcat? Geoff says the temperature is ninety degrees fly-a-kite, or over thirty centisomething. I don't know about all that, but I do know that it is nice and hot. Sorrel and Tansy Screwloose have taken to snoozing in the greenhouse during the day - as though it isn't hot enough already, but I've found this superb hideaway I'm not telling anyone about. Ivory fangs I was taken to see Helen the nice vet at Acorn recently, who surgically removed a lump from my mouth. While I was asleep (how do vets do that?) she cleaned my choppers - so now I have a dazzling white smile for the ladies too!
May 2003 Human Servant This is fabulous !! Geoff has taken something called a six month sabattical from work. I don't exactly know what that means, but for the last couple of weeks, he has been around the house at my beck and call - feeding me when I decide I'm hungry and fussing when I want. Every self respecting tom cat should have a human servant on permanent readiness, - and I've now got mine. Grrreat ! DDs Biscuits My friend DD is lucky - some time ago she came back from the vet with something called cystitus. Now I'm not sure what it's all about, but I do know that she gets some smashing special biscuits to munch. Naturally, I had to taste them, just to make sure that they are OK for her, you understand. March 2003
Oh dear, oh dear! My tubby friend Pippa - affectionately known to many as Pippa The Pig - seems to have grown just a little more over the past few weeks. How do I know? well, Linda found her well and truly stuck in the catflap - Pippa had to be given a push to get through. She'll have to lose some weight, cos I don't want her to be stuck in the catflap when I'm busting to go outside for a pee. Gazebo arrives This is fantastic! Geoff & Linda have bought me my own gazebo in the garden. I let them share it with me, of course, but it's a great place to snooze away the day - and the night too. I do, however, have one complaint - which is that they often shut the door, stopping me from getting in. I'll need to have a word. |
Tom's Copyright |
Flash,
Bang, Wallop
Room
in the roof
...
and the livin' is easy
Lardypuss